The "I miss my baby girl" ramble

So I keep trying to type a blog, and I keep erasing what I wrote.  I was going to write the West Coast version of "how do you know when you shop too much" and didn't get anywhere.  I was going to write "I hate minivans with the passion of nine million burning suns" and didn't get anywhere.

I was supposed to have my daughter tonight but I switched with my ex, and I miss her.

I DID shop tonight...I got her the cutest little pair of bright pink, orange, and green sandals with flowers on them.  My daughter isn't a girly girl, she is more of a tomboy, but she loves bright colors.  These are just her style.  I didn't buy anything for myself...although I did look (I passed up a Splendid cowl neck sweater on sale at Anthropologie).  Side note, even if I don't buy anything at Anthro, that store just has the most calming vibe.  They have such cool visual displays.  I wish my house looked like that...

Back on track.  Whatever track that is!

Sharing sucks.  I mean, a few hours a week of a break is enough for me.  I would much rather have my daughter than not.  I don't care if she whines, I don't care if she resists bedtime, I don't care if I can't get her to eat a vegetable even if it was coated in chocolate and baked into a cookie.  Everything that is hard about being a mom goes away when that little person climbs into your lap, puts their arms around you, and says "I love you mommy."

She comes home tomorrow.  I can't wait!

~J

How do you know you shop too much???

Answer: when you walk through the mall and imaginary price tag bubbles pop up on people's clothes...because you can look at at least 90% of stuff women are wearing and know (a) where they got it, (b) what season it came from, (c) how much it cost - originally AND on sale and (d) what mall it was from. 

See, I shop alot.  I don't really buy much...seeing as single mom's who work for the govenment and owe more in student loans then I will ever make in a 5 year period rarely BUY many things.  But I look.  And I try things on.  And I IMAGINE what I would buy if I miraculously came upon a money tree (the one my parents swore didn't grow in our backyard, but I secretly thought did until I was, oh, 19)...

So the other night I was walking around the mall, per the usual "kid free night activity"...and I saw lots of people.  Teen girls, moms, old ladies...and I started to notice a pattern.  I could tell where the clothes was from.  And this is not "labeled" clothes, ala Seven jeans or polo shirts.  No, this was sweaters from Kohls, a tee shirt with ruching from Gap (spring 2010) and Nine West nude heels (holiday 2010)...I could IDENTIFY random stranger's clothes.  And I knew (roughly) what they paid...either full price or sale.   Because a good shopanista always knows the sale price of things they covet.

And I started to feel guilty.  Like I was peering into these women's closets and wallets and could identify how much money they had.  Were they frugal buyers who only splurged on a few nice things or shopaholics who waited and stalked clothes and bought tons of sale at the end of the season...

Style Snaps Suck

There isn't much to add other than the title...

You know the premise- a way to hem pants (and they have other handy uses!  Tame that unruly shirt collar!  Stick down that annoying belt overage!) that doesn't involve a trip to the tailor.

Well.  I imagine they might work on straight leg styles, and if you are trying to shorten pants longer than an inch. I am tall...I only need half an inch, maybe an inch shorter.  I followed the instructions.  Turn pants inside out.  Carefully affix 4 style snaps near the hem.  Get out ruler and measure.  Carefully affix the 2nd side of the style snap to the folded hem.  Turn pants outside in.  Put pants on.  

They are the correct length, I will give them that...for about 5 minutes and then the sticky unstuck.

I will be making a trip to the tailor.

~J

Younger Men vs Older Men

As a single mom, I find myself lost as to who I "should" be dating.  My family (ahem, my mom) keeps telling me I need to find an "older, stable guy."  I think she pictures me with a 40-something guy who owns his own home, has a generous 401k, drives a volvo or camry, has a stable job with upward mobility, a closet full of chinos, blue and white button down starched shirts, red and blue striped ties and "sensible" shoes.  He doesn't own a pair of designer jeans, shops only when he needs to and tends to buy 5 of the same thing at one time.  He may be losing his hair a bit, but he honestly doesn't care.  He eats healthy and is past the bar scene.  He doesn't keep up with the latest music and avoids going out past 10pm.

Sounds good...if I am looking forward to getting into bed at 9pm, spending weekends at farmers markets and home depot, plan on only having sex on "scheduled nights" and am ok with SUPER boring life.

ARHGHGHGHGHG.  I want to scream.  I hate those guys.

So who do I want?  I want a 23 - 29 year old guy, out of college, maybe a few tattoos.  Still likes to go out to bars, but is past the "drinking till I black out or pass out covered in puke" stage.  A guy who likes sports, but doesn't live at the sports bar with his stupid friends, covering his face in paint and screaming at the tv.  I want a guy who is cool with me having a kid, but isn't trying to be his dad and would prefer to be the fun friend to my kid.  I want the guy who still LOVES to have sex, doesnt object to dirty texts, but also isn't out chasing every piece of tail he sees.  I want a guy who doesn't MIND farmers markets of home depot, but also loves to see crazy movies and make out in the back row, to hit Georgetown and shop at fancy stores or just go play at Dave and Buster's or paintball.  I want a guy who can do his own laundry and doesn't wear crazy ripped old tee shirts from high school, but he hasn't given up on dressing kind of cool. 

I guess even though I am approaching my mid-30's, I refuse to get out of my 20's mentally.  In my mind, I am 25.  I look 25, I feel 25, I think like a 25 year old.  I refuse to give in to the "mom" title and give up on myself.

I dress nicely, I keep my hair long.  I wear nice makeup and occassional go "all out" with colorful Urban Decay eyeliner - IN THE DAYTIME.  I wear designer jeans, but I also love my old Levi's and Gap jeans.  I don't push it and sport leggings, even though I can get away with it.  I don't do crazy hair color anymore...although I am tempted to put in a few magenta streaks in...just for fun.  I wear stilettos, but not the cheap, slutty ones from Bakers of Aldo...I prefer high quality from Nordstrom or Saks.  I read fashion magazines, although my taste is more Allure or Marie Claire than Seventeen...

Where was I going with this?  Ah yes, the debate about what type of guy I should date....men in their 20's or 40's.   I am sure I am going to end up with the title "cougar" at some point, and I am fine with that.  Truthfully, I don't know if I'd be ashamed to be out at 40 with a 24 year old guy.  I am still not obviously that much older yet.  I think I would be a bit embarrased about it, to be quite honest.  I think by that point I'd be keeping the 24 year old on reserve as a booty call, versus a "real relationship"...but that doesn't mean I will settle for a 40 year old.  I look at the ads on guys in that age bracket on craigslist and online dating sites and the guys look SO DAMN OLD.  They are losing their hair, bellies are expanding, upper arms and back are hairy, teeth are yellowing, wrinkles settling in...and that is just GROSS to me.  So yeah, I'll work it with 20 year olds until I cant do it anymore...and then I'll move on the 30 year olds ;)