Foodtarded

So a general rule of thumb I have is pretty simple- no cooking.  I don't like it, I suck at it, I avoid it.  I can DO it...but I have to want to and even then I don't really have any specialties.  I make a mean grilled cheese.  I don't think that counts.  But I have 3 variations- plain cheese, cheese and avocado, and ham and cheese.  That is as creatively culinary as I get.  If I do decide to fix something more complicated (Easter brunch comes to mind, I attempted pancakes, sausage, and scrambled eggs) I'm usually so done with cooking at the end that I've lost my appetite and don't want to eat whatever it is that I slaved over a hot stove to make.

Tonight, though, I decided vegetarianism might not be a bad thing.  Because I attempted to...make tacos.  It was a disaster, I am sitting here eating dinner as I type, and it isn't tacos.  It is peanut butter and honey toast and a nice crisp apple.  I don't mind the effort of cooking.  I do mind cooking RAW MEAT.  I don't know how people do it.  It is pink.  Red is not dead.  It is fragrant.  It is fatty drippy GROSS.

Me at the start- This looks easy.  Skillet?  Got it.  Ground turkey?  Got it.  Open turkey package.  Dump turkey in skillet.  Turn on stove.  Wait for sizzling.  Break up with utensil.  More sizzling.  More breaking up with utensil. 

Me in the middle-  This neither looks or smells good.  Well, you like tacos. Not just like tacos, love tacos! They will be delicious.  You will put seasoning and think of your childhood and it will be worth it.

Me towards the end-  Oh my I think I am going to pass out.  Boyfriend walks in.  Asks if I am OK.  Notices my pallor and says he will take over.  NO NO NO.  I CAN DO THIS.  GO AWAY.

2 minutes later- Boyfriend, come here, I can't do this anymore, SAVE ME, GET IN HERE NOW.  NOW! 

Ah food and cooking.  Something so simple, so elemental, something that most people don't think about....I wish it was easier for me...

~J