Motther's Day. The ONE friggin' day of the year when mothers are supposed to be cherished, revered, spoiled, pampered and all around given the day off from "mom duty." But for Single Mom's, like me and J, it is just a regular day on the job. We don't have husbands to take over so we can go to the Red Door Spa and get the "works" of a massage, facial, mani/pedi. Hell, we don't even get to rest. We get ANOTHER day off custody to spend with our screaming kid by ourselves.
Yes, we get the requisite card and gift. But at the end of the day, our kids don't get that it is supposed to be a special day. They need to be fed. Their butts need to get wiped. They demand toys. They throw tantrums. They need to be bathed. They NEED NEED NEED.
Does it make me a bad mom to have dropped my kid off at his dads at 6pm so I could get some quiet time? Some alone time? So I could find 15 minutes to change my sheets on my bed and polish my nails? Cause I feel guilty. Like the worst kind of guilt.
Every year before this I have dutifully kept my son on Mother's Day while quietly stewing inside. Wishing my stupid ex husband hadn't left. I have always been alone with my son on Mother's Day. We go out and I feel like other mom's look at me and think "aw, that poor single mom...no man to love her" and I feel like a pariah.
This year my ex boyfriend was kind enough to spend the day with us, and that was awesome. He didn't do much other than chase the kid around a museum, but he did take tons of pictures of me with the kid. That is a first. On previous years there have been no photos taken of us together. No photographic evidence that I celebrated Mother's Day. So that was nice. But I still made lunch, did nap time, etc. No help there. The ex is great - good looking, kind, funny, my kid thinks he is a superhero, etc. But not much in the "fathering" department comes to mind. I guess vomit doesn't scare him, so that is a bonus....
So yeah, I did the "Mom" thing all day. It is 7:45pm. I am in pjs. Laundry is in. I ate a pb sandwich for dinner cause I am too lazy to go to the grocery store. I am going to do my nails and hopefully crawl into bed by 9pm. Probably won't happen...but I will shoot for it.
Does this make me a bad mother?
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