As a single mom, I find myself lost as to who I "should" be dating. My family (ahem, my mom) keeps telling me I need to find an "older, stable guy." I think she pictures me with a 40-something guy who owns his own home, has a generous 401k, drives a volvo or camry, has a stable job with upward mobility, a closet full of chinos, blue and white button down starched shirts, red and blue striped ties and "sensible" shoes. He doesn't own a pair of designer jeans, shops only when he needs to and tends to buy 5 of the same thing at one time. He may be losing his hair a bit, but he honestly doesn't care. He eats healthy and is past the bar scene. He doesn't keep up with the latest music and avoids going out past 10pm.
Sounds good...if I am looking forward to getting into bed at 9pm, spending weekends at farmers markets and home depot, plan on only having sex on "scheduled nights" and am ok with SUPER boring life.
ARHGHGHGHGHG. I want to scream. I hate those guys.
So who do I want? I want a 23 - 29 year old guy, out of college, maybe a few tattoos. Still likes to go out to bars, but is past the "drinking till I black out or pass out covered in puke" stage. A guy who likes sports, but doesn't live at the sports bar with his stupid friends, covering his face in paint and screaming at the tv. I want a guy who is cool with me having a kid, but isn't trying to be his dad and would prefer to be the fun friend to my kid. I want the guy who still LOVES to have sex, doesnt object to dirty texts, but also isn't out chasing every piece of tail he sees. I want a guy who doesn't MIND farmers markets of home depot, but also loves to see crazy movies and make out in the back row, to hit Georgetown and shop at fancy stores or just go play at Dave and Buster's or paintball. I want a guy who can do his own laundry and doesn't wear crazy ripped old tee shirts from high school, but he hasn't given up on dressing kind of cool.
I guess even though I am approaching my mid-30's, I refuse to get out of my 20's mentally. In my mind, I am 25. I look 25, I feel 25, I think like a 25 year old. I refuse to give in to the "mom" title and give up on myself.
I dress nicely, I keep my hair long. I wear nice makeup and occassional go "all out" with colorful Urban Decay eyeliner - IN THE DAYTIME. I wear designer jeans, but I also love my old Levi's and Gap jeans. I don't push it and sport leggings, even though I can get away with it. I don't do crazy hair color anymore...although I am tempted to put in a few magenta streaks in...just for fun. I wear stilettos, but not the cheap, slutty ones from Bakers of Aldo...I prefer high quality from Nordstrom or Saks. I read fashion magazines, although my taste is more Allure or Marie Claire than Seventeen...
Where was I going with this? Ah yes, the debate about what type of guy I should date....men in their 20's or 40's. I am sure I am going to end up with the title "cougar" at some point, and I am fine with that. Truthfully, I don't know if I'd be ashamed to be out at 40 with a 24 year old guy. I am still not obviously that much older yet. I think I would be a bit embarrased about it, to be quite honest. I think by that point I'd be keeping the 24 year old on reserve as a booty call, versus a "real relationship"...but that doesn't mean I will settle for a 40 year old. I look at the ads on guys in that age bracket on craigslist and online dating sites and the guys look SO DAMN OLD. They are losing their hair, bellies are expanding, upper arms and back are hairy, teeth are yellowing, wrinkles settling in...and that is just GROSS to me. So yeah, I'll work it with 20 year olds until I cant do it anymore...and then I'll move on the 30 year olds ;)